Saturday, February 7, 2009

First time

Today, while I helped the girls with valentines, I witnessed something that I knew was coming. I watched Ellie write her name 13 times. I stood there almost amazed as my little girl wrote E-L-L-I-E over and over again.

If she had been the first child, I would have jumped up and down and call all the relatives. If she was simply the second child, I would have cheered and made a very big deal about it. However, Ellie is our second child but the our first typically developing child so I'm not sure what to think.

For the very first time, she has surpassed Lauren. She can do something that Lauren still cannot do. All the other times Ellie has done something earlier then Lauren but Lauren has still been able to do it. Ellie walked at 10 months and Lauren at 15 months but Lauren was walking when Ellie learned to do it because she was 3 when Ellie learned to walk. Ellie learned to speak in full sentences at 2 and Lauren at 3 1/2 but Lauren was still able to do it before Lauren.

Lauren is still struggling to write an L. I'm so excited when she can make that mark. Ellie wrote her name with such ease. There was no struggle. There was no battle. She did it like it was nothing, probably because it was nothing for her.

There have been many times during this journey of motherhood that I've wanted to simply freeze time so I could be allowed to think out what I thought. However, the moments have kept rushing forward with no thought of how I was feeling. This was one of those moments.

I stood there feeling glad for one child and hurting for my other child. Neither of them noticed. Lauren simply said "yeah, Ellie" and Ellie simply said "Thanks Lauren". I wish it was so easy for me. I simply the only thing I could do at that moment. I hugged both of them and kept moving on wih valentines. The only thing I know how to do is keep moving on.

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