I have autism

We were watching the news and there was some clip about a program for kids with autism.

Lauren shrieked and said "Mommy, they talk about me. I have autism"

She was so proud. You would have thought she had just discovered a cure for autism or even a treatment program that middle income families could afford.

The Jokester

Lauren has memorized a joke:

L: Why libraries so tall?

any willing victim: I don't know

L: They made of many stories

Hysterical laughter ensues. If Ellie is near by, she adds "they have books too".

I don't think I could take another angry phone call this week

I'm very tired of helping people with disabilities this week. I am also very tired of being yelled at by people who think they have disabilities.

Unsolicited advice coming up:

I'm sorry that you disagree with our definition of disability. I did not set it. I do not know you personall and I am not here to deny you just cause. I take my job seriously and I try to make the best, timely descision I can. However, I can't just allow you because your broke.

I don't think Social Security is going to change its rules just cause you don't like them.

Lauren's self portrait

(With Maximum assistance of course)

My Most Prayed for Child

Years ago (well not that long ago, it was still in this century), I desired something that like I had never had before. I wanted a baby. It was not so far-fetched. I was married, we both had great jobs, and loved children. Plus we are just so awesome, it seemed unfair to the world for us not to allow our genetic material to live on.

I struggled with infertility. Month after month, I saw one line. One lonely little line. I never ovulated and therefore never got any closer to those two lines. I eventually went on Clomid and got pregnant with that child.

All of those months before June 2002, I prayed for a baby. All I wanted was a baby. I prayed like I never had before. I would beg God for a baby. I repeatedly told Him that I didn't care what the baby was like. I was more than willing to take a baby with different needs.

God answered my prayers. I saw those two lines in July of 2002. I had an unevenful pregnancy and my beautiful baby girl was born on 3/22/03. She had a difficult first year. She had severe GERD and screamed for up to 14 hours a day until 4 months. She was diagnosed with FTT at 3 months. Everything seemed to resolve at 18 months. We thought she had simply outgrown everything. Her stomach and her gastrointestinal tract had caught up to her. We were ready to start typical parenting experiences.

God knew what He was doing. He gave me that child I prayed for and chose to honor my entire prayer. He did not send Lauren as a punishment or a threat. He did choose to give me Lauren because I prayed for something I didn't understand. He chose to give me Lauren because He is who He is and He is good.

I love Lauren to the dept of my soul. I love Lauren more than I ever imagined loving someone. I love Lauren despite the costs. I love Lauren for who she is right now. But ultimately God loves her more.

Even if Lauren remains exactly who she is and never changes, God loves her and God chose her and that is a miracle.

Tonsils and Adenoids are Gone

Miss Ellie's surgery was today. Her tonsils and adenoids are gone. She had the distinction of having the biggest tonsils of the day and being the youngest patient. Pretty impressive for only three years old.

She was quite nervous about the entire things. She hated the yellow pjs they made her wear. They simply did not pass the Ellie fashion test.

I was able to go with her as she was put under. I am so fortunate that our hospital allows us to do that. I love being able to hold their hands as they slip into a sleep. I don't have to hand a hysterical child off to a nurse and walk away. I carried her in and she didn't even know I had left. I was fortunate to do this with Lauren as well.

We hung out most of all day. She made a craft, got a balloon, watched some videos, played bingo and ordered more food than she eats on a normal day.

She will be home tomorrow. I miss my Miss Ellie.

Happy 6th Birthday Lauren!

You have made us better parents and better people.



Grandpa got her this crown.



Could it really be 6 years?