I've decided I don't fit in

I really don't. I've never made friends easily and as an adult it is even worse.

I work full time so I'm not included with the stay at home moms. Then I get home and my husband rushes off to work (OK I lie, we meet in the parking lot and then I drive the herd home). We are definetely an odd family.

But the thing that bothers me. I don't fit in with other families that have been effected by Autism.

Lauren is very high functioning kid on the Autism spectrum. She can speak not clearly but understandably. She can interact with others, not like I do or even what is socially acceptable but she can fake it for awhile. She loves to be with others. She may not know how to be with other kids her age but she wants to be with them.

I feel odd when I refer to her having Autism especially around someone else who chld's Autism has effected their family even more. I just feel out of place.

She is definetely not a normal child. I see that at Girl Scouts twice a month. She does not know how to iniate conversations with others. She'll say something and then will just keep repeating it.

I know kids try but she's just odd. We played Duck, Duck, Goose and she just ran around flapping her arms because she was so excited. No one would pick her. I was so sad but I didn't know what to do. I would have known exactly what to do, if she had been some other kid. But she's my kid! Luckily for me, my co-leader stepped in.

She doesn't get social cues. In her world and in her life, it is totally accceptable to stand nose to nose with someone. Not every other 6 year old agrees. She also still throws horrible fits if she doesn't get her way. I know this must scare the kids in her class off. They are now 6, not 2. They've moved on and can deal with disspaointment in a different way. Lauren can't.

I just wish she could have a friend or be invitied to a birthday party. I would consider the year a success then.